the random thoughts that keep me up

“I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion.” - Jack Kerouac

I have lots of thoughts floating through my head, probably too many. In fact, I know I have too many, which is why as soon as it’s time to lay down and sleep I feel wide awake. Even my daydreams, which usually lull me into a great sleep turn into something serious and I find myself watching the room get brighter until I fall asleep as the sun comes up. Needless to say, I feel a bit thrown off right now.

So if I could spill out some of my life – here goes:
altoids by the tin, art studios, an old friend dancing like James Brown, abstract pieces inspired by nature, braiding my hair, BBQ chicken, clean sheets, dreaming of going away somewhere distant from my life, fairy tales, fireworks startling me, fight the power, feeling too serious, grits and eggs, gold sculptures, gray hairs, hostess cupcakes, interior design, John Coltrane, loud talking, laughter coming from the other room…, menthol rub, my dislike of ‘House’ coffee, need to vacuum, people posting what they eat and drink on Facebook, people watching, questioning the future, rotten fruit, racial tensions in the neighborhood, sunshine waking me up, SF Art Commission Exec quits, spray painting, trust or distrust, the smell of garbage, waterworks, watching reruns, wishing for peace…
How’s that for random??

life

mysterious armor

new work!
For more information go to my website. Look in the portfolio under 'garments'.

sometimes life is more exciting in photos

This weekend I updated some photos for my etsy shop.




After my first sculptural table base did not support the glass as I'd hoped, I went back to work, recreating the whole thing with a stronger foundation. This foundation made it look closer to the photo they gave me originally. I feel like I grew and learned so much from taking on this project. It has made me think a bit differently about how I approach my work.




Downtown in the middle of all of the activity sits a tiny hardware store. I have found that even though the place is tiny, they always have what I need. Last week after going to Lowes twice and not finding what I needed I took the bus downtown to this store and there were the tools I needed and then some! It's wild. It's an independently owned place and they always have such fun window displays. Check out the lighting made out of colanders! The window has a 'curtain' on each side made from yards and yards of chain...




This dress is inspired by the designer Haider Ackermann, a Belgian trained fashion designer who has exploded in the fashion world. He remarked that his clothes were fragile and strong. Something about that moved me.

a slice of Thursday

The sun was out at some point today, before 4 o'clock when the fog began to roll in with its wet dampness and clouds colored the sky gray telling everyone to toss on another layer of clothing and head inside someplace warm.

I saw a girl walking down the street. She was an average girl in her twenties, wearing black skinny jeans and a dark gray hoodie with a t-shirt under it. She wore red converse on her feet. While everything about her was commonplace, what made me notice her was that her big chunky bangs and hair pulled into a high ponytail were the same exact shade of red as her shoes.

While out and about today I noticed all of the colors of the houses. Pepto Bismol pink with a pale pink trim, mint green with dark purple trim, an all blue house with beautiful stained glass windows, a very modern dark forest green two story house with redwood decking, trim and big floor to ceiling windows...

I saw an old episode of Project Runway yesterday. One of the designers said, " I was born to give and offer beauty to the world". I loved that remark and felt like - "Yes, yes - me too."

After three trips to two different hardware stores, 6-8 hours of sculpting for the past 6 days and lots of determination I recreated the sculptural table base. I dropped it off today and am waiting to see if it will be used for a major design project. I feel a strange sense of sadness having dropped it off, even though I was eager to complete it. I feel that sad feeling one gets when a good book comes to an end.

I am developing arthritis in my right knee. I have had it in my left knee for almost three years so I know the pain that comes with it intimately. Yesterday and today have come with extreme pain in my right knee which is difficult because neither leg feels comfortable to stand on. I find myself gently rocking in my seat - something I do when I'm in pain and can't manage it. Life both inside and out feels uncomfortable these days.

wednesday sunshine

The sun was out today and my day was spent in the backyard painting sculptures. I just finished a dress and started brainstorming a new abstract sculpture.
I was totally surprised and excited tonight as I watched the season premiere of "Flipping Out' on BravoTV. On this episode Jeff Lewis was invited to speak at the SF Design Center. The interior designer I have been working with was in the episode at the cocktail party Jeff attended... Wild to simply find yourself chilling out watching TV and see someone you know!

wednesday sunshine

The sun was out today and my day was spent in the backyard painting sculptures. I just finished a dress and started brainstorming a new abstract sculpture.

I was totally surprised and excited tonight as I watched the season premiere of "Flipping Out' on BravoTV. On this episode Jeff Lewis was invited to speak at the SF Design Center. The interior designer I have been working with was in the episode at the cocktail party Jeff attended... Wild to simply find yourself chilling out watching TV and see someone you know!

the answer is blowing in the wind...

One morning a few months ago I got a phone call that took me on an unexpected journey. It was a call from an interior design firm. They were calling because they’d seen my mention in the newspaper back in February. I sat on the other end of the phone amused as they asked if they could visit me at my studio or showroom. I smiled from my little bed, looking across the room at this tiny room I work and sleep in. I listened as the assistant to a fabulous interior designer pitched an idea for a piece they wanted to commission me to create. I was being asked to create a sculpture that would serve as the base for a side table. This was unfamiliar territory for me because my first thoughts centered around constructing something strong enough to hold the heavy round of glass that would sit on top of this sculptural table base. I agreed to meet with them and to consider the project based on the information gathered at the meeting.

It is wildly scary to take on something you have never tried and yet at the same time it is so exciting. Looking back, it was like a crazy rollercoaster ride – this fearful yet exciting adventure. I questioned if I should take it on. At the same time, the incredibly overwhelming fear I felt made me convinced that I should because I knew I’d be taking a risk and opening up to something completely unfamiliar.

When I met with the interior designer, all of those thoughts were confirmed as we talked. She told me about her background and how she was once a painter. We talked about art. She asked me about my work and what inspired me. I watched her face light up when I told her that one element of my work is about capturing a moment and freezing movement. Then she pulled a magazine clipping from her binder of a scarf blowing in the wind and handed it to me. This was the inspiration for what she wanted.

Now, I must say, I don’t believe in consciences. I smiled at the fact that her photo was from a magazine (when most of my inspiration comes from magazine clippings). I also found myself blown away thinking about how my inspiration board had three images of women in dresses that were blowing in the wind, fabric stretched out away from their bodies like big flags blowing behind them. At the time, my calendar also revealed an image of a dancer twirling around a big piece of flowing fabric. The fact that she chose this particular image almost made me giggle because I knew without a doubt that this project was for me.

I knew that I could create the shapes and the illusion of light blowing fabric yet how to do this with strong materials would be another challenge. Plus the work needed to be three-dimensional and I have been creating two-dimensional works that hang on the wall for the past few years.

I found myself walking the aisles of a few hardware stores touching random pieces of metal and picking up unfamiliar things for their sculptural value. I gave my postcard to more than one overzealous hardware clerk who wanted to ask me if I needed help and then insist on telling me about whatever metal object I was admiring at the time. I eventually found myself in my small room with various gauges of wire, steel rods and butterflies in my stomach that left me feeling nauseated on a daily basis.

I sculpted and cried (I cried far more than I expected- sometimes while bending wire) and went to bed with tired hands and chest pains (from straining so hard to bend heavy wire). I dealt with feeling uncomfortable – physically uncomfortable from taking on such hard work as well as emotionally unsettled as I took on something new. I created with four different gauges of wire and tried out new techniques of finishing the work. I considered what the sculpture would look like from different angles. I finally started to see the beginning glimpses of what I wanted to create. A few meetings, emails and phone calls with the design firm and a sculpture was born.

At the moment we are just waiting for the glass to arrive to complete this work of art.
All I can say is that I am so glad that I took on the project! I feel like I have grown so much because of it!

The finished product! (photos from two different angles)

celebrating beauty

When we speak about the essence of a woman - her beauty - we don't mean 'the perfect figure'. The beauty of a woman is first a soulish beauty. We know- it's a harder jump to make. We've lived so long under the pressure to be beautiful. But stay with that thought for a moment, because it will really help. The beauty of a woman is first a soulful beauty. And yes, as we live it out, own it, inhabit our beauty, we do become more lovely. More alluring. Our true self becomes reflected in our appearance. But it flows from the inside out. - Captivating by John & Stasi Eldredge

This dress reminds me of Lucy and Ethel on a spring day.
I just completed it a few days ago.

my monday

found via desire to inspire

I saw this photo this morning and sighed deeply. I'd give anything to climb into that bed and fall asleep in total silence for as long as I want.

Meanwhile I feel like I'm sleeping in a storage room. There are FOURTEEN sculptures in my room along with all of my other belongings. This is making it difficult to think, to breathe, to create. (At the same time I am feeling more and more motivated to clean the garage...)

How are you?

inspiration saturday

inspiration saturday... otherwise known as - change makers don't always have average hairstyles...

On Being Normal:
The truth of the matter is history is full of successful, world-changing people who did not fit in and were definitely not normal. It’s time we started seeing words like “kooky,” “abnormal,” “crazy,” “eccentric,” and “freak” as what they are: character differentiation. As you have your own divine revelations and nurture your own intuition, I want you to share them with the world. And don’t retreat or feel bad if no one gets it at first. Because, let’s face it, you can only hope they don’t get it. This will give you an edge, otherwise known as a patent or a trademark opportunity. In commerce, in literature and in life, normal gets you nowhere. - Kelly Cutrone, fashion publicist and the founder of the public relations, branding and marketing firm People's Revolution

Whoopi Goldberg is an American comedian, actress, singer-songwriter, political activist, author, and talk show host. Whoppi Goldberg has written more than ten books including a series of books called the “Sugarplum Ballerinas”. Goldberg has been nominated for 13 Emmy Awards for her work in television. She was co-producer of the popular game show Hollywood Squares from 1998 to 2004. She has been the moderator of the daytime talk show The View since 2007. Goldberg has a Grammy, two Emmys, two Golden Globes, a Tony, and an Oscar. In addition, Goldberg has a British Academy Film Award, four People's Choice Awards and has been honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and is one of the few entertainers who have won an Oscar, Emmy, Grammy, and Tony Award.




Lee Daniels is an American actor, film producer, and director. He produced Monster's Ball, Shadowboxer and The Woodsman. He directed the film Precious, which received six Academy Award nominations, including Best Director; the film won two of the awards.



Patricia Field is an American costume designer, stylist and fashion designer. She is considered one of fashion’s greatest visionaries. She is an Academy Award nominated, Emmy Award winning film and television costume designer and boutique owner with her own clothing label. She is best known for her work as a costume designer on HBO’s Sex and the City.



Toni Morrison is a Nobel Prize and Pulitzer Prize-winning American novelist, editor, and professor. Her novels are known for their epic themes, vivid dialogue, and richly detailed characters. Among her best known novels are The Bluest Eye, Song of Solomon and Beloved.
In 1996 the National Endowment for the Humanities selected Morrison for the Jefferson Lecture, the U.S. federal government's highest honor for achievement in the humanities. From 1989 until her retirement in 2006, Morrison held the Robert F. Goheen Chair in the Humanities at Princeton University. (This is just a small slice of her impact on the world!)




Christian Siriano (born November 18, 1985) is an American fashion designer and the winner of the fourth season of American reality show Project Runway. Siriano is the series' youngest winner.
As part of his prize for winning Project Runway, Siriano's first collection for Bluefly began retailing on the website in July 2008. Siriano teamed up with the LG Group to create a fashion phone called the LG Lotus (LX600). He also wrote a book, designed a small collection for Puma, collaborated on a maternity line, and signed a deal to design a line of low-cost shoes and handbags for Payless Shoesource, and a line of bridesmaid dresses through Spiegel.
Siriano's first fashion line, Christian V. Siriano, debuted at New York Fashion Week in 2008. His entire Fall 2009 collection was picked up by New York City retailer Saks Fifth Avenue. He has continued to make a name for himself in the fashion world.

I love this!

Source: Christian Dior: "Abandon" afternoon dress fall/winter 1948–49 | Heilbrunn Timeline of Art History | The Metropolitan Museum of Art