this marathon called life...

When you find the right thing to move into you will be willing to work harder on that than you ever were willing to work on the thing you were working on it before. Go into it because you are passionate, go into it because you are ready and you have to listen to your inner voice. Your inner voice will tell you when the time is right to make the leap. - Afrobella

Life is good. I cannot complain. I see things developing and changing, all moving in a good direction. And yet it’s difficult and exhausting and requires SO much courage. I’m trying to stay grounded and create work that is true to who I am without crumbling under the stress that new prospects bring. I am just doing what I always do – plugging along, working hard and holding out faith and hope.

stepping over the line

Compassion literally means to feel with, to suffer with. Everyone is capable of compassion, and yet everyone tends to avoid it because it's uncomfortable. And the avoidance produces psychic numbing - resistance to experiencing our pain for the world and other things.
- Joanna Macy

five senses friday

SEE
- a girl with really big doorknocker earrings
- a guy with a white cockatoo on his shoulder in the post office
- a man dressed pretty average in cords and a button down shirt with the added flair of a big purple and red cape.
- a man selling cotton candy on the street
Imagine walking down the street in the middle of downtown on an ordinary day eating cotton candy…
- a girl who looked like walking graffiti as she wore tie dyed jeans, carried a purple leopard print purse, has a graffiti design on her high top tennis shoes and had colored streaks in her hair like Nicki Minaj.

HEAR
- a big union protest complete with chanting and picket signs. The part that threw me off were the kazoos the protesters were blowing into!
- a homeless man with a full range of plastic buckets and a few frying pans playing on the street. He was really good!

TASTE
- a prawn burrito
- pastrami
- crab wontons
- san pellegrino water

SMELL
- dried lavender
- coffee brewing
- that clean smell after it rains

TOUCH/FEEL
- anxious and sad about the tsunami in Japan
- worried about family members (stuff I can’t discuss here)
- good that I did some courageous stuff this week

when things come full circle

I spent a few moments this evening chit-chatting with the brilliant famous artist Nayland Blake! He lives in New York and yet has art dealers here in San Francisco and in NY. I knew it was an opportunity I did not want to pass up and although I was incredibly nervous I went to the show anyway. I jumped on the bus, rode it downtown, went to the reception and then took the bus home. It was easy once I ignored the butterflies. I don’t know if I totally ‘get’ his work and yet I felt like I needed to go see him because he has been influential in my decision to pursue the arts.

For as long as I can remember I wanted to make art. Yet as I got older my mom discouraged it beyond more than a hobby. She was worried I’d grow up poor and wanted me to pursue something that could make lots of money. A few years out of high school I attended community college and was completely lost because I was trying to find something to pursue other than art (although art was what I knew deep down that I wanted and needed. I even stopped making art for about two years and got really depressed and down about life. Then in the early nineties I moved to Sacramento, went to another community college and started working at a coffeehouse. I’d just started drawing again after having given up making art for about two years. I decided to take a few art classes. One of them was Modern Art History. This class had a huge impact on my life because not only did I learn to recognize the classic modern artists but I became aware of the art world and things like going to galleries and exhibits. I remember going to an art opening at the school’s art gallery and feeling a little envious of the artists, thinking, “ I want to make and show work” I started reading the arts section of the newspaper. I remember reading about different artists thinking, “ I want to do what they are doing” in the sense of pursuing my dreams. One day I read an article about a handful of artists that were called “the ones to watch”. One particular guy stood out to me. It wasn’t his work that stood out to me as much as his courage and the look of determination on his face. I remember I saved the article (although I couldn’t tell you what it said…) and I carried it in my purse for years. Many years later Derek and I were walking around the SF Museum of Modern Art and I saw several pieces that caught my eye. They were by that same artist who’d stood out to me from a newspaper article many years before. This guy was Nayland Blake.

I went to his reception tonight and personally thanked him for being so brave as to walk to the beat of his own drummer. He seemed very touched by what I said and then we chit-chatted and laughed and I asked him to sign my postcard for the show. I also gave him a letter that I wrote to him in case I didn’t get enough time to talk to him at the reception… He was very down to earth and a bit self depreciating which made us both laugh and extended our conversation a bit because he made me feel comfortable. He has a really intense face but a laugh that is contagious and a quirky way of looking at life that is fun. (Well… at least that was the impression I got…)

It was wild and definitely a significant moment.

boldness = genius, power & magic

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative there is one elemental truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now." -Goethe

I have used this quote a number of times over the years. It came to mind today as I forced myself out the door to pursue yet another opportunity. Today was a really rough day physically and emotionally and yet at the same time it was good. I keep raising the bar for myself. The ideas I have for a new sculpture are exciting and scary. Some of these feelings are because I don’t necessarily know if I can pull of what’s in my head. Yet I am excited and want to try. Meanwhile, as soon as I committed to these outlandish plans, I have found myself ‘stumbling’ upon all kinds of photos that will serve as inspiration. I am talking about the most incredible imagery – photos I couldn’t find if I set out to find them and yet here they are like a gift from God. Hey – maybe it’s His way of winking at me and saying ‘go for it’.

inspiration saturday

this funky jacket!
I can see someone walking into an art reception wearing this! Reminds me of making snow angels. It's from Rick Owens' Fall 2011 collection. Quirky, no?



- found via The Sartoralist


love your burger but eat cake too
I am not a big fan of whimsy but this cake caught my eye because I knew my sister would love it. She's totally into baking and really into cakes that look like other things. One year she had a cake that looked like a stack of pancakes complete with butter and syrup. Recently my mom bought the cake pan set that makes a cake that looks like a giant donut. She saw this photo and smiled.



- found via coco cake


unexpected color
I really like this chandelier. I don't know if I'd set out to find something like this but I think if I had it, I'd find some special place for it where it could bring delight because of it's cheerful color.



- found via the style files


changing ordinary to extraordinary
This color combination is clever and fun. It's proof of how the most average outfit can be pumped up with just a little bit of color.


- found via The Sartoralist

organically speaking

Yesterday I took my mom to an organic grocery store that opened in my old neighborhood. It is indeed a beautiful store and she being the foodie and lover of cooking and hospitality strolled around the store aisle by aisle delighted and fascinated over all kinds of stuff. It was a nice little adventure wandering around this cute little grocery store, taking in the sights and smells., discovering products we may or may not have seen before. So many beautiful selections, great packaging, and just really beautiful food. It was fun to do something different.

my life at the moment

- I have a few projects going right now.
- I'm writing a proposal and the process is so tedious that it makes me want to poke my eyes out.
- I've been blown away by how so much of what I see around me is turning up in my work.
- I'm inspired without intentionally realizing how what I am learning will be put to use.
- I am struggling with insomnia still so unfortunately I also feel a cold coming on because my immune system is low right now and I can't sleep.