life unexpected...

It’s been an odd week so far. Around noon on Monday I had a major allergic reaction and broke out in hives. The rest of the day was lost as Benadryl put me into a deep coma-like sleep. Yesterday was spent working and cleaning and running errands. Then the highlight of today was going to my art reception this evening at the Women’s Health Center. It was a nice time. I met several artists and had a few great conversations.

Other 'ordinary' details of life: I'm catching a cold and so I've felt stuffy and tired the past few days. I ran out of coffee and have been drinking my 'emergency' packets of VIA. Today I finally stopped at Starbucks and got some. I cannot wait to brew some tomorrow. I found my latest inspiration for a new series of dresses. They are so glamorous! I am SO excited to get started...

sketching...

I mailed my sketchbook back today for ‘The Sketchbook Project’. This book along with 28, 000 others will be on a cross country tour starting in February. Here are some of the sketches from my book…

finding the right setting...

Here's the pregnant torso I created. As soon as we exited the elevator we saw a sign which immediately confirmed that this piece was not meant for that floor. They still displayed it though but on the OB-Gyn floor (4th floor) ...

art for recovery

Here are photos of some of the tiles on the wall at the hospital. Each of the tiles was made by a woman dealing with a life-threatening illness. This work was breathtaking and powerful. Each person chose a plant, which they imprinted their piece with and then they wrote their reflection/ journal entry around it.

when God steps in

I dropped off my work at the UCSF Women's Health Center yesterday. It is truly a beautiful place. I have lots of stories to tell and photos but I haven't taken them off my camera yet. What I do want to say is this- my work is something I truly feel God has called me to do. Sometimes I feel like I am simply a vehicle for his purposes. I am not conscious of this all the time by any means but on days like yesterday I realize this and I am immediately humbled. It no longer becomes about me and what I made but about how it will be used and the message that will be delivered.

While I knew my work would be at a Women's Clinic, I did not know exactly where it would be. This place has seven floors and they chose 8 artists to fill those floors with work. All I knew is that I hoped my work would be able to bring comfort and healing to someone. When I found out where it would be placed I found myself feeling a little emotional.
I was sent to the seventh floor - the fertility wing.

This seemed so appropriate- sacred. You see, my series is called 'the journey'. It came from a place of doubt, of living in the unknown, of longing and hoping and this kind of gut wrenching struggle. And so to think that women will be sitting in that beautiful peaceful wing with it's sage colored couches and earth toned floors looking at my copper colored souls that may reflect some aspects of their struggle makes me feel thankful (and very humbled because I did not plan this - I simply did the work).

sneak peek...

title: the longing



title: the offering


title: the communion




title: the joy



title: the freedom

I'm still working on the last piece - anticipation. It's a pregnant woman with her hands resting on her belly. I have all but the hands done and then I need to paint it. Thank God the drop off date isn't until Tuesday. I thought it was tomorrow!

five senses friday

SEE
- the ‘factory’ that I live and sleep in. It’s filled with wire torsos, a Christmas tree that is beyond dried out, a stack of bubble envelopes, a cluttered desk, and an unpacked duffle bag from my trip
- me painting sculptures outside in the cold damp fog

HEAR
- the crazy neighbor above us hammering (again)
-Miss Congeniality playing on the TV

SMELL
- pine from the Christmas tree (yes, I can still smell it)
- dinner cooking
- a neighbor’s fireplace burning
- the neighbor’s son smoking cigarettes in the backyard next door

TASTE
- coffee without my favorite creamer
- chips and salsa
- altoids (my new addiction)

FEEL
- Like a cold is coming on. Derek has a cold so I may have caught his.

today

- I woke up to the smell of smoke as our neighbors roasted a whole pig in their backyard
- I found out the store I’d planned to go to is closed on Sundays
- I watched this tribute to Nina Simone (they are singing her song ‘Four Women’ (above)
- I sculpted a pregnant belly complete with a belly button. Then I put it under my shirt and walked around the house with it freaking out my mom and sisters.
- I attempted to paint some sculptures but it was too wet outside
- I had lasagna for dinner
- I drank 48 ounces of water
- I watched lots of TV and spent four hours sculpting

1.1.11 - a new beginning

I spent some time the past few days looking at 2010 and examining all that took place. It was full of so many extreme ups and downs. I just realized how many new things I tried and places I went that made me uncomfortable and yet I was courageous enough to walk through the feelings of nervousness and fear to see what was on the other end. A number of major relationships were tested. Strained, pushed, and wrestled with to the point of feeling like they would fall apart and yet as of now they have survived. I was forced to question almost everything I value and to evaluate why I consider it important. I’ve had to believe in myself even when I felt like I didn’t have anyone to rest on. No, let’s clarify – God has always been there and I am so thankful because I’ve never felt such loneliness – that aching loneliness that is hallow and awful and feels like despair… I have never experienced it this way until this past year.

On the flip side I worked my butt off and showed more artwork than a little. I met lots of new people and gained exposure in lots of new arenas. I found myself pushing beyond what I thought I was capable of and actually succeeding. And so while 2010 was difficult and had its fill of heartbreak, it was rewarding with regard to gaining perspective and purpose.

The past few years I have chosen a word for the year as a goal or intention. The word for 2010 was ‘GO’. I looked back and realized that last January I wrote the following –

“My intention is to step into the woman I am meant to be without reservation or apology. My word is – GO
Getting out of my own way
Not hesitating, drawing back
Taking a leap
Taking a risk
Not letting the unknown stop me
Letting go of fear and just living”

It feels good to look back and see how that came to be in 2010.
This year will be about continuing that journey and I think my phrase will be “breaking bounds”. I bought a calendar by the same name. It has photography by a woman named Lois Greenfield. (The photos above are hers.) I was inspired when I saw the images of dancers she’d captured. Because my artwork is about freezing movement I was immediately fascinated. When I read her bio she made a remark that her work was about “illustrating the passage of time, giving it a substance, materiality, and space.” She said, “In my photographs, time is stopped, a split second becomes an eternity, and an ephemeral moment is solid as sculpture.” My interest lies in capturing and holding onto an ephemeral moment – a moment that is transient, short-lived, passing, temporary through sculpting the folds and wrinkles that are exposed in our clothes through our everyday movements and gestures. So I digress… Anyway – my phrase for 2011 is breaking bounds.