guard your joy

Comparison is the thief to joy - Theodore Roosevelt

The Art for AIDS auction was incredible and very validating. As I said, I could not get over the reception I received as people commented on my work. I gave out business cards. People hugged me. I saw people who already own my work. I met people who wanted to get my contact information in case they did not win my piece in the auction. There was so much to be happy about - so many signs saying 'keep doing what you do' so I was surprised when towards the end of the evening I suddenly felt depressed...

As I sat watching the auction and listening to the auctioneer, all of this "stuff" came up within me. I found myself listening to him list the accomplishments of the other artists. Most of them had been represented by more than three galleries and had shown their work both nationally and internationally. As I listened I felt a bitterness churning - an inadequacy. I questioned why I hadn't been in galleries. Doubt and the ugly naysayer voice went to work on me. Fears that when the time came for my piece to be auctioned off I'd look silly in comparison because I didn't have a long list of credentials. I questioned whether these people embellished their bios. My mind was at war because part of me battled back - reminding me of how many people were waiting to bid on my piece. I was reminded that I should be honored to be a part of an auction that has such distinguished work by famous dynamic artists. I rocked in my seat as the auctioneer drilled away like a ticker tape as people's hands flew up bidding on artwork. What I'd forgotten in that moment of weakness is this - What God has for me is for ME. No one can steal away what God has for me. The plans he has for me - the gifts and opportunities are for ME. They will happen in His time because He is in control. So why worry and get caught up in comparing my path to others? My path is not theirs yet I am here.

The lesson I learned in all of this is that we need to guard our joy because sometimes it only takes a moment or a remark for it to be thwarted. Embrace the good.