I spent some time the past few days looking at 2010 and examining all that took place. It was full of so many extreme ups and downs. I just realized how many new things I tried and places I went that made me uncomfortable and yet I was courageous enough to walk through the feelings of nervousness and fear to see what was on the other end. A number of major relationships were tested. Strained, pushed, and wrestled with to the point of feeling like they would fall apart and yet as of now they have survived. I was forced to question almost everything I value and to evaluate why I consider it important. I’ve had to believe in myself even when I felt like I didn’t have anyone to rest on. No, let’s clarify – God has always been there and I am so thankful because I’ve never felt such loneliness – that aching loneliness that is hallow and awful and feels like despair… I have never experienced it this way until this past year.
On the flip side I worked my butt off and showed more artwork than a little. I met lots of new people and gained exposure in lots of new arenas. I found myself pushing beyond what I thought I was capable of and actually succeeding. And so while 2010 was difficult and had its fill of heartbreak, it was rewarding with regard to gaining perspective and purpose.
The past few years I have chosen a word for the year as a goal or intention. The word for 2010 was ‘GO’. I looked back and realized that last January I wrote the following –
“My intention is to step into the woman I am meant to be without reservation or apology. My word is – GO
Getting out of my own way
Not hesitating, drawing back
Taking a leap
Taking a risk
Not letting the unknown stop me
Letting go of fear and just living”
It feels good to look back and see how that came to be in 2010.
This year will be about continuing that journey and I think my phrase will be
“breaking bounds”. I bought a calendar by the same name. It has photography by a woman named
Lois Greenfield. (The photos above are hers.) I was inspired when I saw the images of dancers she’d captured. Because my artwork is about freezing movement I was immediately fascinated. When I read her bio she made a remark that her work was about “illustrating the passage of time, giving it a substance, materiality, and space.” She said, “In my photographs, time is stopped, a split second becomes an eternity, and an ephemeral moment is solid as sculpture.” My interest lies in capturing and holding onto an ephemeral moment – a moment that is transient, short-lived, passing, temporary through sculpting the folds and wrinkles that are exposed in our clothes through our everyday movements and gestures. So I digress… Anyway – my phrase for 2011 is
breaking bounds.
