public/private

Things are happening to me that are wildly amazing and yet I find them to be funny as well since my life feels like such a contradiction at times. As vulnerable as I feel doing this, I thought I’d share some of these opposing sides of my life.

PRIVATE
It took me two hours to leave the house this morning (that’s after I was already dressed and ready to go). I have been in a funk this week. I tried to deny it (even to myself) but I’ve been depressed. Couple that with the rain, missing my sidekick – my man, and this overwhelmed feeling as I try to trust that everything will be ok, and I have been in the dumps.

I needed to go and buy spray paint because my cans of black paint were clogged and even though I soaked the nozzles yesterday, I realized this morning that it wasn’t the nozzles that were clogged but rather the paint in the can. The problem with this is that I am broke and did not want to spend my last money on paint. And yet I have an event this Friday and needed to complete some work, therefore I needed the paint. After fooling around with the paint cans and getting black paint all over my fingertips with no results, I gave into the fact that I needed to spend my last twenty.

I took clothes out of the dryer. I ruined a new shirt after spilling salad dressing on it. Yes, I’m that girl – the clumsy one who drops food on herself, especially at dinner parties. I’m also the girl who bumps into things at elegant gift shops, who trips and falls at the worst moments, and who gets caught drinking when something is funny and then sprays out her drink on everyone. Yep, that’s me.

After spending three days in the house feeling low but still making art, today I got really insecure and thought, “Am I kidding myself? What am I doing?”

I’m laughing at the notion that anyone would think I have it together…


PUBLIC
I was standing on Market Street today stuffing a bunch of stuff into my backpack. I decided to prop my bag up against my knee and a kiosk on the sidewalk so I could zip the bulging bag. I glanced up and noticed that my name was in print there on the kiosk. There before me stood a sign for the Art in Storefronts program. There I was – the girl who just got excited over saving fifty cents in the hardware store. There I was.

I got invited to two art openings – one on Saturday night and one in a few weeks. (On the private side – I bite my nails and wonder what to wear…)

I got an email today, after an email yesterday and a call a few days ago from the Mayors’ Office. I have been invited to be a part of the 2010 Black History Month Celebration at City Hall next month. I will be displaying some of my work in the Rotunda during the celebration.

I got home to an email from my art dealer ( private: yeah – the girl with the stained shirt and empty pockets has an art dealer) asking for an update of available sculptures. She has a client interested in possibly making a purchase.

I decided to apply for a grant even though the deadline is this Friday. I figured the worst that could happen is that I don’t get it and even then, I haven’t lost anything but a few hours. The name of the grant – ‘Masterminds 2010’. (private: This makes me giggle whenever I hear it because I don’t feel like a mastermind right now…)

singin' in the rain

I went to Best Buy the other day. The bus stopped about two blocks from the store and to get there I had to walk under the freeway. (It’s probably not as weird as it sounds…) As I stood under the overpass waiting for the light, I looked up at all of the metal beams holding up the freeway. Two guys walked up and we all stood waiting to cross the street. As the light changed and we started to cross the street, one of the guys broke out in song. He had a great voice, the kind of voice you might hear in a Broadway play. He sang at the top of his lungs and his song reverberated under all of the metal of the freeway in a certain all-encompassing surround sound. I looked over at him surprised and a little blown back. His friend looked embarrassed. Once we crossed the street the guy stopped singing and looked at me with a satisfied look on his face.
He said, “Ahhh! You can’t buy acoustics like that!” and they continued to walk.

art explosion studios

I have this hope/wish/desire to get an enclosed space at this place, on the third floor so that I can work here more. Right now I rent a wall which I use to showcase my work. I like being here and yet with no where to lock up my work, I don't feel good about leaving it in an open workspace...

window displays

Working in the financial district?
How about an unexpected surprise as you wander down the street?

My newest works are on exhibit in three fabulous windows downtown near the Embarcadero!

275 Sacramento Street (at the corner of Front and Sacramento Streets)
San Francisco, CA

On exhibit through mid-February 2010.

art in storefronts - part 6

The unveiling ---
Highlights of the opening included:

- Talking to the other storefront artists
- Seeing an old friend from high school
- Personally inviting people into the reception and seeing the delight on their faces to be included in such an event
- Meeting local business owners, moms, sons, children
- A conversation with City Supervisor Sophie Maxwell about how relevant my window was to her experience growing up
- Lots of local people surprised to see a crowd of white people standing on the corner of 3rd and Palou in this minority filled neighborhood
- Watching the local neighborhood residents mingle with art world people
- The owner of a storefront giving long stem roses to all of the ladies at the event
- A walking tour in three groups of about 40 people which grew as we walked and people on the street joined in because they were curious to see where we were going
- Seeing the look of pride on my mother’s face as she watched people surround me acknowledging my work
- Senator Mark Leno asking me for a postcard with my work on it after talking with me about my work
- Seeing people looking at my window
- Hearing oohs and ahhs as the windows were revealed
- Being interviewed for a podcast for the SF Arts Commission
- Great conversation with Luis R. Cancel, Director of Cultural Affairs for the SF Arts Commission
- Listening to Judy Nemzoff, the Program Director for Community Arts and Education at the SF Arts Commission share how my work has moved her! She even described my piece that was in the Open Studios Group show!
- Being able to stand in front of my window and talk about the ideas behind it with a crowd of people
- Seeing people from all walks of life coming together to appreciate art

Art does indeed have the power to unite, to inspire, and to create community.

art in storefronts - part 5

The artwork--

Description: Celebrating the hard-working women of the Bayview community, I have created three generations of women through clothing sculpted in wire. Using hundreds of pieces of wire, I have created the essence of a person wearing a garment; the occupant is revealed among the folds and shapes that give life to the sculpture.

The older woman – the mother, the head of household, the matriarch

The twenty/ thirty something woman – the mom, the woman seeking her identity, her place in this world

The little girl – young, seeing the world with fresh eyes, learning, dreaming, growing

art in storefronts - part 4

The window -

Title: Strong Women, Precious Pearls

Description: Celebrating the hard-working women of the Bayview community, I have created three generations of women through clothing sculpted in wire.

While the viewer has the choice to focus on the exterior and concentrate on the clothing, they also have the option of looking at the invisible person within the sculpture. In this instance, my goal is to project souls of endurance, perseverance and strength. When approaching this project my first idea stemmed from the idea of many generations under one roof. “I thought about all of the families with the woman as the head of household and how this area is home to many families with multiple generations gathered under one roof.”

I’ve created hard exteriors out of wire, speaking to ones ability to protect, endure and yet not lose sight of the soul, the beauty and the femininity within. A pearl is constructed when a grain of sand endures years of friction and irritation within an oyster shell. This embattled grain of sand ultimately transforms into something beautiful and cherished.

Couple that with the obstacles that are faced daily, the roadblocks that cause one to think and rethink their plans, the obstacles and attitudes that can hold one back if they don’t endure and here we have a community of people fighting a battle that while huge and often overwhelming has become as much a part of life as eating, sleeping and breathing.

This installation is a celebration of women and the hope that endures as they nurture one generation after the next. My hope is always to get people to see life in a new way.

In the midst of this we could get social and political and ask, “Where are the men?” Then, because we are in the Bayview, a predominantly black area, we might engage in a conversation about black men and the number of black men who die or are incarcerated each year. We could talk about broken families and how historically for blacks this stems back to times of slavery, or we could even take a modern approach and examine the rate of teen pregnancy and divorce today. Maybe we’d talk about the modern day family and how its structure is changing. However, no matter what we choose to focus on, this piece is universal in that we all face obstacles. We are continually in the midst of suffering as we face hardships that challenge us and shape us into the people we were meant to be.

My goal is not only to share my work and offer beauty, but also to present hope and to say to others – don’t give up.

art in storefronts - part 3

The experience:

In all of the hustle and bustle to install my window I remember at some point questioning my sanity and asking myself, “ How did I get myself into this?” There are challenges that come with transforming your work from a standard display and creating it into a window display. It didn’t help that the walls were made of plaster and nails just crumbled the surface and flew out under the smallest bit of pressure. The fact that the floor was uneven and the ladder wobbly didn’t help either. It also didn’t help that here I was walking onto a block as the outsider among people who at first glance seemed a bit intimidating. Sure I’d lived in this area of the city yet that was more than 20 years ago.

I introduced myself to the owner of the store on the corner. In fact, the store is called ‘Da Corner’. He was a really cool older guy with a mellow disposition sitting in his store watching court TV shows in between his sales of t-shirts, hats, jeans, shoes, movies, gum, hair accessories and other apparel. At one point he even let me borrow his ladder. I also met a few of the neighbors who lived in the apartments above the storefronts. A guy named Ruben offered to help me and said just to knock on his door if I needed anything. He told me his wife Renee had just given birth to a baby boy and I congratulated him as he stood in his work clothes telling me about some kind of moving dolly he had if I needed it and beaming like a proud papa as he spoke of his son. When I told him about the art in storefronts program he seemed excited and pleased.
One day I saw two Mexican women coming out their door. We greeted each other and I said hello but our conversation didn’t go much further because they didn’t speak much English and while I can understand some Spanish, I cannot speak it. Meanwhile there was the crew of guys hanging out on the corner in front of the liquor store. I didn’t find out until later just how much talk had been going on among clusters of people as they tried to figure out what was happening behind those veiled windows. One day when I came out of the store to go home, and an older black woman greeted me from the passenger side of a car that sat out in front. “I heard you are opening an art studio! Welcome to the neighborhood!” She and the older gentleman in the driver’s seat both smiled. I told them about the storefront installation and they asked me when they’d be able to see it. The woman pointed to her apartment and told me how excited she was that they were “putting in something uplifting in the neighborhood.” She reached out for my hand and said, “Thank you for being an artist”. That really moved me.

I watched the block and they watched me. I saw a mother getting off the train at the same time each day with her child, a little girl wearing a pink plastic backpack. I saw a construction worker returning home from work. I saw that dancing lady I’d seen the first day I’d gone to the storefront. Each time she walked the block in a different state of lucidity. I saw kids come and go, families boarding the train, people delivering packages. I saw a neighborhood with its daily routine of life and found myself excited to share art with people who might not necessarily go to openings and museums. I’ve always wanted to make art less intimidating, more accessible, a part of life.

art in storefronts - part 2

The Setting:

"Artists are here to disturb the peace." -James Baldwin

The taxi driver was more than confused with me as I rode in her backseat a few weeks ago. After an angry response when she realized I needed to load a bunch of stuff into her trunk, she became even more irritated when I told here where I was going. She looked at me with a deep sense of skepticism. What were those big plastic covered mounds I’d loaded into her car and why did I need to go to the Bayview?

“I never go to this side of town,” she said. “People put me though too many changes over here. It’s not worth it.”
I knew the “changes” she spoke of were indeed many – people robbing cab drivers, jumping out of cabs without paying, etc.

She relaxed a bit after my mom explained what we were doing.
“Sculpture huh? What does it look like?” she asked.
I reached into my backpack and handed her a postcard from my backpack.
“Holy Sh*t!”, she exclaimed. ‘That’s in my trunk?”
Then the questioning began about how I create the work and the time involved.

“You are really talented,” the cab driver said. “ So why are you taking your work over there? It’s a pretty limited audience don’t you think? I mean, you should show your work in a special place like a museum or someplace like The Art Institute.” She paused as if she’d stuck her foot in her mouth. I knew what she was saying even though she didn’t complete her thought. Rather than say what was on my mind I just responded with the facts about it being a revitalization project and how that meant the work would be displayed in economically challenged areas.

And yet my reasons for wanting to show my work there were different.
I chose the Bayview for my installation because my first thought was, “Why not add some beauty to this area?” It is often the lost neighborhood, the overlooked area of the city with regard to so many things – essential services like transportation and grocery stores, education, funding for business development, etc. Having grown up in Visitation Valley and spent my earlier years of life in the Bayview, I know firsthand that this area of San Francisco is overlooked often only making the news when negative press is involved.

As we drove though the neighborhood and I saw that some things had changed and some had not. The biggest change was the T train, a metro line that ran all the way down Third Street. Gone were the days of the # 15 Third bus, a line that ran from one end of the city to the next. The Coca Cola factory was gone, replaced by loft like apartments that were in the midst of construction. No more Beeps Burgers. I remembered old businesses from my childhood, which now stood as vacant storefronts. Espositos was a grocery store we frequented when I was a child. It was owned by an Asian man and it was a store relied upon by many because we did not have a mainstream grocery in the area. I remembered a corner we drove past which was once an empty lot where once they started construction on it, gold was found. I remember visiting a friend and hearing all of the stories about neighborhood people digging in the dirt with pie pans and metal spoons searching for treasure. I remember how excited we were about it since we were in elementary school and into reading stories about pirates and hidden treasure. We even asked our parents if we could go searching and of course they said no! This corner is now home to the golden arches as the smell of McDonalds fries fills the air. I saw the library on Third and Revere which has a different name than it did back when I was in 6th grade going there to study with my friend April who lived just down the street. The main businesses that remained from my past were funeral homes.

As I rode in the back of the cab I saw more crackheads than I'd seen in a long time. We passed clusters of men hanging on street corners. I watched a drugged out woman dancing while walking up the street... No music was playing but whatever beat she heard must have been pretty good because she was smiling and dancing hard. That is until she got distracted and suddenly stood looking up at the sky for a good minute or so. There were people smoking weed on the sidewalk. I saw more than one old Oldsmobile with 24 inch wire rims. A liquor store was open on one corner and a funeral home on the other. I saw working people and women with children getting on and off the T train. A guy in a colorful knit cap got off the train toting a cart, selling incense. I watched as women with laundry in baskets walked down the block. I witnessed a loud talking woman screaming at her man while holding her baby on her hip.
When I got out of the taxi the driver wished me luck and gave me this look as if I was the most foolish ridiculous person ever because of my decision to display my work in this neighborhood.

I was left pondering the question - “Who deserves art? Is art only for people in a certain economic bracket? Does class level dictate who deserves to be exposed to art? Is it a matter of education and stature? What makes these people any less deserving than anyone else?

Art crosses boundaries, it unites, and it can be loved by people of all ages regardless of race, color or creed. Art can move you beyond your circumstances. It can inspire, and offer hope. Moreover, art can shake things up and cause people to view the world in a different light.

Looks like my journey to do that had already began from the moment I set foot into that taxicab.

art in storefronts - part 1

The Adventure:

I few months back I decided to submit a proposal to the SF Arts Commission in response to their call for art for a program which temporarily places original art installations by San Francisco artists in vacant storefront windows located on Taylor Street in the Tenderloin, Third Street in Bayview, Central Market Street and Lower 24th Street in the Mission to engage local artists in reinvigorating neighborhoods and commercial corridors that have been hard-hit by the economic downturn. I can remember filling out the proposal, second-guessing myself and even questioning whether or not to turn it in. So imagine my surprise when I received a call saying that out of the 180 proposals I was one of twenty artists selected!

The work needed to be completed between August 31 and October 1, which did not leave me much time considering that many of my pieces can take a month and a half to two months to complete. I needed 12 pieces for my window with only two months to pull it together.

Family and friends looked at me like I was insane asking how I could possibly pull it off. And yet I went to work, ready to face the challenge and while to this day I don’t know how I did it, I completed the artwork for the window. The process of working on this group of work felt like preparing for a big final project. My days were filled and I spent many days in the house hard at work for as long as my hand would hold up.

'inspired'

Title: inspired
artist: Kristine Mays
medium: wire


Jackie O. Michelle. Mrs. Cleaver. Lucy. Ethel. Mad Men. Swing Dancing. The woman of the house. These images came to mind as this sculpture came to life.

liquid curves

Title: liquid curves
artist: Kristine Mays
medium: wire
size: roughly 5 feet tall