the 11th hour

I'm up early, sipping coffee in a quiet house. My computer is still down so I'm on my sister's. I haven't given much attention to my computer - this week is much too busy and it will have to wait until after my open studios show. I have been grumpy and working like crazy on my studio. It's been a difficult week. I realized last night that I am struggling with feeling alone. All of the people I would have counted on for emotional support are absent right now. Sometimes I wonder if this is how it is meant to be - so that I will rest in God more. I spent all day in the studio yesterday after having a nightmare the night before (the third one) that I wasn't prepared. I ended up drawing out a floor plan with how I wanted to display my work. I arranged and arranged and arranged yesterday and I think the space looks good. I feel like I'm preparing a special gift - a party in honor of whomever will attend. Earlier in the week before my computer died I listened to a sermon on a podcast. The pastor talked about Jesus feeding 5 thousand with the loaves of bread and the fishes from a little boy's lunch. What I took away from his message was the need to thank God for what you have, even when it doesn't look like enough. The pastor said that it is in the breaking that the miracle occurs. In hardship God's glory has a chance to shine through. I could say so much more but I don't know if you'd understand me since you didn't hear the sermon. However, even in the midst of my grumpiness and sadness - even in the stress, I am finding ways to be grateful. I am determined to work with what I have. I couldn't make signs for the walls - labels for my show offering the title of the piece and other information since the computer is down so I decided to handwrite them. I'm going to create handwritten labels with comments about the work - almost like field notes. I hope it comes across as more personal, like reading someone's journal or something. My mom usually does the food for my events and yet she is out of town at my brother's house this week. She won't be back until late Friday night. I decided to create my own plans for food because while she'll try to help - I think she'll be exhausted when she gets back. Therefore I am raiding the pantry and coming up with a menu. Right now I am planning on strawberries and grapes on a platter, and a bowl full of orange wedges. I will have olives, salami, cheese and crackers. I will serve a red pepper & onion jelly over cream cheese with crackers. I will have deviled eggs. Almost all of the ingredients for this are in the kitchen. It's always in the 11th hour that the good ideas come. I'm going back to the studio again today...