SF designer's showcase house

While I was excited to have artwork included in this showcase house, I never knew it would get as much attention as it has! Check out some of the photos! The images of the kitchen with my sculpture hanging on the wall have been featured on about 7 interior design blogs! I am blown away! This decorators house has brought me more than a little attention this past week. I am thrilled as I open my email to find people from other parts of the country contacting me. Two people have emailed me from the Boston area, someone from Michigan and a woman all the way from England! Insane! I must say though - I feel good about it - not overwhelmed or stressed but very grounded, very ready for what is opening up before me. It feel relieved that I feel this way.

last day

Coffee is brewing. A shower will soon occur. I am heading over to the studio one last time. I have a cart full of stuff and lots of last minute things to do. The event is tomorrow. It's funny- when I got the studio space I had this idea that because I could go anytime I want that I'd be totally set up for open studios at least a week in advance (instead of the day before like I do with most shows simply because that is the time that they allow me to come in) Yet, so much work has gone into this space and into making it look good that I guess it will be a matter of working until the final hour. I didn't consider the fact that I'd make more work than ever and the fact that I always make as many pieces as I can, even if it comes down to completing work only days before a show... Either way- as long as it gets done, I'll be happy. I want to go into the weekend ready to have fun - letting go of the stress and just hanging out with people and listening to their experiences with the work.

the 11th hour

I'm up early, sipping coffee in a quiet house. My computer is still down so I'm on my sister's. I haven't given much attention to my computer - this week is much too busy and it will have to wait until after my open studios show. I have been grumpy and working like crazy on my studio. It's been a difficult week. I realized last night that I am struggling with feeling alone. All of the people I would have counted on for emotional support are absent right now. Sometimes I wonder if this is how it is meant to be - so that I will rest in God more. I spent all day in the studio yesterday after having a nightmare the night before (the third one) that I wasn't prepared. I ended up drawing out a floor plan with how I wanted to display my work. I arranged and arranged and arranged yesterday and I think the space looks good. I feel like I'm preparing a special gift - a party in honor of whomever will attend. Earlier in the week before my computer died I listened to a sermon on a podcast. The pastor talked about Jesus feeding 5 thousand with the loaves of bread and the fishes from a little boy's lunch. What I took away from his message was the need to thank God for what you have, even when it doesn't look like enough. The pastor said that it is in the breaking that the miracle occurs. In hardship God's glory has a chance to shine through. I could say so much more but I don't know if you'd understand me since you didn't hear the sermon. However, even in the midst of my grumpiness and sadness - even in the stress, I am finding ways to be grateful. I am determined to work with what I have. I couldn't make signs for the walls - labels for my show offering the title of the piece and other information since the computer is down so I decided to handwrite them. I'm going to create handwritten labels with comments about the work - almost like field notes. I hope it comes across as more personal, like reading someone's journal or something. My mom usually does the food for my events and yet she is out of town at my brother's house this week. She won't be back until late Friday night. I decided to create my own plans for food because while she'll try to help - I think she'll be exhausted when she gets back. Therefore I am raiding the pantry and coming up with a menu. Right now I am planning on strawberries and grapes on a platter, and a bowl full of orange wedges. I will have olives, salami, cheese and crackers. I will serve a red pepper & onion jelly over cream cheese with crackers. I will have deviled eggs. Almost all of the ingredients for this are in the kitchen. It's always in the 11th hour that the good ideas come. I'm going back to the studio again today...

oh hello monday!

I have missed coming here, mostly because I have been so busy lately. This past week I haven't spent as much time on the computer as I usually do because I have been sculpting and painting and answering emails and doing other stuff. I have exactly 5 days until spring open studios and I feel more freaked out than I usually do. Maybe it's because it's in my own space, or because I have the residency committee coming to see my work. I feel an additional pressure to have a good show - a pressure I don't know if I always feel (even though I always put a lot of pressure on myself to create something good). I had crazy dreams this past weekend of being caught not ready - dreams where I was headed to the studio and something happened that took me on the detour resulting in me never making it there and my space being opened for people to see with pieces propped against the wall rather than properly hung. I have my week mapped out with the goal of being ready well before Friday. Last night my computer started doing weird things. Frankly I think it has crashed. This is devastating because so much of my stuff is not backed up. I tried not to freak out last night. This morning I woke up thinking how I hadn't backed up my iTunes library or most of my photos. If the computer won't work I can't make labels for my show, or gather a playlist for music, or update my art dealer with a form I send her every few weeks. Hmmm... I'm trying hard not to panic. It's not even 9 am and I feel stressed - not good. I'll be praying my way through this day. I'm going to do the best with what I have.

me and TV

I have been working like a mad woman all week, trying to complete two sculptures here at home for open studios. I have exactly 8 days before the event and I am freaking out and feeling really unprepared. Today I put the work on pause for the day and went downtown to be a part of a live studio audience at a local news show. I gathered with a dozen Hunter's Point artists and we all sat in the audience at 7Live today. I was totally nervous. The idea of being on TV made me nervous and shy. I have always been shy but there are moments where I am tossed back into the crippling shyness I used to have as a kid. Little things made my act of courage easier - like the fact that the audience members were encouraged to wear deep rich colors like red, purple, jewel tones... My trusty red sweater became my security blanket today. I had a pretty good time. It was a bit cheesy- requiring that we clap and cheer and look enthusiastic at the end of each segment. This felt a bit fake but what can you do? Meanwhile I got to see Lisa Loeb and there was a really popular blogger on the show promoting her book. The whole hour was about creative people - the kid who is a viral hit right now for his arcade, a movie director, a writer and a musician. The best part of the day for me was the realization that all of these people (the guests on the show) were nervous and awkward. It takes so much energy for me to go out and be social. I get so anxious and nervous and yet when I saw the guests on the show I somehow felt relieved in knowing I'm not alone and inspired by that fact that they were courageous enough to share. It made me realize once again that we need to be kind to one another because we are all fighting some kind of battle each day. At the end of the show I was so ready to come up with an excuse not to go and yet I'm glad I did. I got a chance to meet some artists from the studios that I'd never met. I also found myself fascinated sitting on the set of a TV show. It was wild trying not to look at all of the cameras, or up at the ceiling at all of the wires and screens and microphones during the broadcast. The whole thing was a new experience, a new adventure.

forty-three

It was a quiet day and a quiet birthday. The day felt very ordinary although the evening ended with wine and cheesecake as my mom and sisters sat around chatting. I feel like I have been through a major storm this past year and aged three years. At the same time I feel better than ever. I feel stronger as a person. I feel more confident in my purpose. I feel ready to face whatever is before me - even the difficult stuff.

the barber lounge

Luggage carts filled with art, my mom and I rode the bus across town so I could drop off work for the latest show I’m in. It’s at a high-end salon called ‘The Barber Lounge’. It is an incredible space – I was blown away when we walked in! What I did not know is that this show is to celebrate their 5th year anniversary. The opening will be a huge party with a DJ and cocktails and from what I hear it should be pretty big. As you can see by the photos, it's a pretty cool place!

five senses

SEE - Nurse Jackie. I have been watching past episodes of Nurse Jackie. I made it through season 1 and I am hooked. I love Edie Falco. - A bedroom that looks like a factory… You’d think I never moved into the studio by the look of this room. I have been working from home all week. I must say my life is boring in general – sculpting and watching cable tv. I was feeling guilty about this (like I need to be more exciting and adventurous) and then I saw an interview with the comedian Chris Rock and he said he spent 10 years or his life going to the comedy club almost every night. When the interviewer questioned him further he said – “Yeah that means no social life really and no dating because it was always a priority to get on stage on a Friday and Saturday night. I was dedicated to being the best comedian I could be.” Somehow that makes me feel better about my introversion and focus (although I don’t plan to be a hermit for 10 years...) HEAR - Thunder so loud last night that it shook the house. It scared me and made me want to get in bed and hide under the covers. Thunder usually doesn’t have this effect on me. It was so powerful though that the rumbling made me think of earthquakes – so unnerving. Plus it kept setting off car alarms because it was so strong. FEEL - an overall feeling of crappiness – I tend to get in a funk before every open studios event. I start doubting myself and worry that the work is boring or not good before events like these. I feel restless and grumpy and very, very unsettled. SMELL - coffee … I have been prepping the coffee pot at night so I can wake up in the morning and just press the button, get in the shower and have a cup when I get out - a stale menthol smell from using a minty rub on my knees and hips before bed. TASTE Foods I should not be eating – breads, soda, sweets I was doing well and then Easter arrived and it was all about chocolate and bread. {Sigh} I will get back to good eating though.

the big C

This weekend I watched the full first season of ‘The Big C’. It’s a dark comedy (I guess) about a woman who finds out she has stage four melanoma. It is SUCH a great show. It made me think about what I’d do if I found out I had a life threatening disease. The main character is a type A personality and yet when she finds out she’s sick she changes her perspective and flips out a bit in a way that makes others think she’s losing it. They see her suddenly taking risks and having fun and doing things she normally wouldn’t do. Plus she doesn’t tell anyone she has cancer so they really don’t know what’s going on (In the first season). It’s a wild show with really great writing and character development. It made me laugh and cry. It also made me think about how I choose to live my days.

making a difference

I saw this on Facebook and wanted to share it here. It involves two of my favorites and until I heard this story today, I didn't know how they were connected... Check it out---

Marilyn was a big supporter of the Civil Rights Movement. Ella Fitzgerald was one of Marilyn’s idols and a major inspiration. However, the Mocambo nightclub in West Hollywood, the most popular dance spot at the time, refused to let Ella perform there because she was black. Outraged, Marilyn told the owners that if they would let Ella perform, she would be there in the front row every time Ella was onstage. She did, and the two became friends.

According to the great Ella Fitzgerald:
“I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt…it was because of her that I played the Mocambo, a very popular nightclub in the ’50s. She personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she would take a front table every night. She told him - and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status - that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman - a little ahead of her times. And she didn’t know it.” ~ Ella Fitzgerald

What I’ve been working on

The sculpture above - 'bathing beauties' was a part of a designer showcase house I was a part of last month. It was in the cabana area of a 45 million dollar mansion and it sold. Not only did the piece sell but someone commissioned one just like it so this is the second bathing suit I sculpted.


This piece 'the bombshell' was picked up the other day. It will be auctioned off to raise money for AIDS research and medical services for individuals living with AIDS as a part of a fundraiser with UCSF Medical Health.


This set is called 'accessories make the man'. I just created it in the past two weeks. It will go into a gentlemen's parlor as a part of another designer showcase house here in San Francisco (the one I was in last month was in Marin...) This photo is of the work unpainted. I ended up painting the bowtie, neck tie, pocket square and cuff links a muted metallic color - a mixture of gold and silver overlapped on one another.

I spent this weekend working on more new work- two pieces for a show I'm in next month. I'm also working on wire dresses for my upcoming open studios show.

s-l-o-w down

A week ago today I went to the ER and discovered I have biliary colic (the very beginning of gallstone formation and problems with my gallbladder). It has been a rough week. Besides the gallbladder issues I also had a flare up with my hernia. I’ve known about this hernia for a year now. It was a small tear yet last week I did more damage to it by lifting boxes that were too heavy. I was told in emergency that I needed to rest – to watch what I eat so that my gallbladder attack would subside and not to lift anything heavy.
What a struggle this past week has been! My health has called me to slow down – my life has not. Therefore it’s been a week of tug of war. Sometimes I have bumped my head (metaphorically speaking) because of my unwillingness to surrender.

Do you remember that game Operation? The game requires that you use these special tweezers to grab parts out of the body yet if the tweezers touch the metal edge of the opening during the attempt, a buzzer sounds. As I child I remember paying this game and I remember how quiet we were as we concentrated on the game. If by some chance the buzzer went off I was always startled. It had a zapping sound that was unnerving. Well – this came to mind this week as I attempted to eat. My body told me right away if something was or was not ok to eat. If the food didn’t agree a searing pain would shoot through my side (like a buzzer) as soon as I chewed and swallowed. It did not take long to get the message about what to stay away from. Bland foods - good. Spicy bad. White bread, starches, sugars –bad. If anything, I have learned that I need to be aware- conscious of what I do. I need to be in the moment. As soon as I’ve gone into ‘auto-pilot’ or tried to multi-task, the buzzer goes off as I hurt my stomach either on the inside (gallbladder) or the outside (hernia).

I’ve spent the week in the house and even though I am home, I have continued to sculpt. Although I know I need to stop I found myself thinking, “Yeah- but I can’t right now…” Then yesterday I got what I will see as a another message to stop (beyond getting sick –since that didn’t seem to be message enough). I was in the middle of working when my metal pliers snapped. My only pair of pliers broke. My main tool is broken and they broke in such a way that I laughed knowing it’s God’s way of telling me to slow down.

Life lessons…