inspiration saturday

"People tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will descend like fine weather if you're fortunate. But happiness is the result of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly." 

- Elizabeth Gilbert - Eat, Pray, Love

"Be sure that you do not expose your vision to people that may not be in alignment with where you're going." - Iyanla Vanzant

five senses

SEE
- my open studios feature on page 33 (I was one of ten 'featured' this year out of the 800 open studio artists)
- one of my newer dresses I've sculpted. (I'm still deciding on a color to paint it. I'm leaning toward pale pink.)

HEAR
- my mom talking on the phone to my very pregnant sister
- TV commercials (a sound that drains me)
- our neighbors talking and laughing outside on the sidewalk in front of our house

TASTE
- sweet potatoes
- hot oatmeal
- french bread
(notice a pattern??? too many carbs!)

SMELL
- rotting compost
- spaghetti sauce
- fresh laundry

FEEL
- restless and stuck
- doubtful
- hopeful to work through these feelings

random thought

To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury; and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable; and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear all cheerfully, do all bravely, await occasion, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious grow up through the common. This is to be my symphony. — William Ellery Channing

guard your joy

Comparison is the thief to joy - Theodore Roosevelt

The Art for AIDS auction was incredible and very validating. As I said, I could not get over the reception I received as people commented on my work. I gave out business cards. People hugged me. I saw people who already own my work. I met people who wanted to get my contact information in case they did not win my piece in the auction. There was so much to be happy about - so many signs saying 'keep doing what you do' so I was surprised when towards the end of the evening I suddenly felt depressed...

As I sat watching the auction and listening to the auctioneer, all of this "stuff" came up within me. I found myself listening to him list the accomplishments of the other artists. Most of them had been represented by more than three galleries and had shown their work both nationally and internationally. As I listened I felt a bitterness churning - an inadequacy. I questioned why I hadn't been in galleries. Doubt and the ugly naysayer voice went to work on me. Fears that when the time came for my piece to be auctioned off I'd look silly in comparison because I didn't have a long list of credentials. I questioned whether these people embellished their bios. My mind was at war because part of me battled back - reminding me of how many people were waiting to bid on my piece. I was reminded that I should be honored to be a part of an auction that has such distinguished work by famous dynamic artists. I rocked in my seat as the auctioneer drilled away like a ticker tape as people's hands flew up bidding on artwork. What I'd forgotten in that moment of weakness is this - What God has for me is for ME. No one can steal away what God has for me. The plans he has for me - the gifts and opportunities are for ME. They will happen in His time because He is in control. So why worry and get caught up in comparing my path to others? My path is not theirs yet I am here.

The lesson I learned in all of this is that we need to guard our joy because sometimes it only takes a moment or a remark for it to be thwarted. Embrace the good.

more photos from Art for AIDS 2012

Artwork on display in the silent auction (hence the tables with the white bidding sheets)

I got these photos from facebook. Someone did a panorama of the live auction pieces.

Work for silent auction. I loved the way the work was lit.

An overview of the crowd as they gathered for the live auction to begin.

people roaming...

The moment of truth!

People bidding...

art for AIDS auction

I cannot believe that a week has already passed since this event. Last Friday I attended the Art for AIDS Annual Art Auction. I have been donating work to this event for over ten years now.This year they held it downtown in a beautiful room which had floor to ceiling windows on one side, revealing a big terrace and a great city view.

Of course, (as with any event) I was a little nervous but those feelings dissolved when I got there and saw so many artists I knew and hadn't seen for a while. I also found myself surprised and delighted as I circled the room with my mom and people approached me, excited to meet the person 'who'd created the fabulous wire dress'! I felt like a mini celebrity. I also overheard a few conversations as people talked about my work not knowing who I was or that I was standing nearby. It was mind-blowing and sweet. I almost felt like I needed this moment because life has been hard lately and it feels tempting to give up at times.

photo from the rooftop terrace area

I was excited to see my sculpture immediately as I entered the room

With each live auction artist, a slide with the lot number, photo and artists name was projected on the big screen above the auctioneer. My work was included in a group that included Jock Sturges,  Ross Bleckner, Rex Ray, Eric Zener, and others. Out of the 140 works for sale at the auction, only 25 were a part of the live auction.

The auctioneer and art handlers as my sculpture is being auctioned LIVE!

letting love rule

A friend sent me the following daily devotional and when I read it, it kicked off a multitude of thoughts.

Here it is:

Remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.—Matthew 28:20

I am connected to God and all people. All people share a connection. We breathe the same air; feel the warmth of the same sun; share life on the same planet. Our paths are connected in ways both seen and unseen. The food on my table may have come from a farm nearby, from across the country or from across the world. Similarly, new technology allows me to connect with loved ones or strangers faraway. As humans we also share in feelings of happiness and sadness, peace and frustration. We are one in God, connected in Spirit. Knowing we are one, I demonstrate empathy toward others. I am understanding, compassionate and willing to listen. Whatever I do, wherever I am, I am connected to God and all people.

I'm always gathering ideas like beads and stringing them together.This is what came to mind when I read this devotional...
First, I thought of a conversation I'd seen between Marianne Williamson and Oprah. Marianne Williamson quoted Gandhi saying, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." She went on to say how if you want change, you can't wait for the majority of people to move to make a difference. History has shown that it is usually a few brave people who spark change- people who are courageous enough to step forward and do something. Williamson then went on to say how terrorists have taken hatred and turned it into a political force. She said that the only thing that will transcend and transform this stance is if we turn LOVE into a political and social force.

I know this can easily sound all hippy-dippy but this is what Martin Luther King Jr. preached - and beliefs that Gandhi held. In his sermon, "Loving Your Enemies" Martin Luther King Jr. talked about the Greek translation of love to explain it on a deeper level. Agape love is the kind of love that is transformative- the kind of love that is redemptive and seeks nothing in return. In his speech he says this about agape love - "At this level, we love men not because of divine spark; we love every man because God loves him. At this level, we love the person who does an evil deed, although we hate the deed that he does." King goes on to say why we should love. Hate multiplies hate and scars our souls, eating away at us like a cancer, humiliating and destroying whomever it comes in contact with.Yet love has a redemptive power, healing and renewing, restoring us to the place that God intended for us to reside within.

Another thought - Why would we want to be connected to hate, or cancer? And yet we are. We are all filled with a variety of hurts, wounds, scars and pain yet if we seek love and healing- practice forgiveness, love radiates beyond merely just our lives because we are all connected. Ultimately God wants to redeem us and restore us so that we can experience the fullness that He intended for us to have.

Love - when viewed this way is more than flower children dancing and hugging, or candy hearts and syrupy words, but rather it is transformation. And if I might connect another bead to my group of gathered ideas, this is the kind of love Lenny Kravitz speaks about when he says, "Love transcends all space and time" and that "love can conquer any war".

In his song 'Love Revolution' he says,
"You are a child of the most high
There's nothing you can't do and that's no lie
You were designed to use your mind
To move what you can't see so don't be blind
'Cause there is a love
That won't let you down and it always holds ground
Wear your crown
This love will never leave you
This love will never let you go.
It is time for a love revolution!"

See, even this musician is trying to point us towards something more - toward the redemptive power of love. Just food for thought. Chew on that.

gratitude despite circumstances

I have the power to turn my life around. If my life is not as I wish it to be, I remind myself that I am one with God, and in God, I have the power to turn my life around. Instead of lamenting any perceived shortcomings, I focus on my strengths. I exchange thoughts of lack with gratitude. I am an unlimited being, living in an unlimited universe, experiencing good in unlimited ways. I trade disagreement for love. Barriers collapse as I direct loving thoughts and words toward those with whom I've felt contention. I affirm my oneness with the Spirit of all people. My positive thoughts are focused on the animating God-energy circulating in my life and affairs. My life is turned around for the better. 

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you.—Psalm 19:14  

Looks like this message is definitely something I need to embrace and am learning in a deep way. I keep getting this message in a variety of ways, especially over the past week. The other day I found myself moaning about going to the studio when suddenly I stopped and thanked God that I have a studio! It has been a really financially tight few weeks and so I have been trying to not get too caught up in my current circumstances yet rather see the bigger picture and know (as in deeply know- not just talk to myself over and over) that God is in control and that He has my best interests in mind.

I heard a sermon two weeks ago called "Living beyond Limitations" and it talked about not looking at the lack but rather praising God and using what you do indeed already have. Then the next afternoon I watched one of Oprah's interviews with Marianne Williamson and she said quite a few things that resonated with me. I actually wrote down one of her remarks… Check it out :

The key to happiness is the decision to be happy. Happiness is not circumstance dependent. The only real happiness is the giving and receiving of love. A deep inner peace involves hearts that are open and the ability to give and receive love. If I am not happy, there's something I'm not looking at correctly. If I'm not happy I'm believing in an illusion, I am seeing the evidence of fear, all of the 'ain't it awfuls" of the world and I'm thinking that they are real, rather than remembering that only God's love is real in any situation. I am clearly looking at this through the eyes of fear and it's showing me one reality and that is my perception and then my experience is that I am unhappy. And then I am projecting onto the circumstances. However, from a spiritual viewpoint we are looking through a filter of fear and if I pray that all of my thoughts of judgment, of blame, of "I'm not good enough", of "they should give me" would cease - I'd see that I have what I need.

Here's a simple prayer- Dear God, I am willing to see this differently.

discovering nina

Folks don't like nobody being too proud or too free. - The Color Purple, Alice Walker

Late last night I finally finished reading an autobiography about Nina Simone. Over the past several months I have watched clips of her performances on youtube and found myself enchanted and intrigued about her, wondering what her story was, what had brought her to this moment I found myself witnessing on the screen.  Her life was quite a page turner! It was more sad that I expected although she  definitely made a mark on the world. In some ways she poured out her life like a sacrifice as she gave more than she ever received.
For me - she gave me a brutal look at what happens when you decide to live apologetically as a woman pursuing her dream. I have been left with so much to think about...

inspiration saturday

Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find all was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes, and make it possible. - T.E. Lawrence

 
Pam discusses moving forward in life with Unapologetic from Unapologetic on Vimeo.

One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful. - Sigmund Freud

five senses

SEE
- a woman who took wearing leopard to new heights! She wore leopard print leggings, a black long sleeve top, a leopard print purse with red trim, and sandals that had chiffon flowers on them in a leopard print. She also wore big leopard print hoop earrings. On her head she wore a straw fedora hat with a red ribbon trim. Her left wrist held five wooden bangles - one was red and one was painted a leopard print. Oh, but that's not all! When I glanced down at her bare feet in those sandals I saw that her toes were painted red- all expect the large toe. It was painted in a leopard print!

HEAR
- three neighborhood kids playing outside running and squealing playing tag
- an old song that reminds me of being in my twenties and living with 4 roommates

TASTE
- guacamole
- breakfast blend coffee

SMELL
- Lysol cleanser as I clean the bathroom
- Gain Laundry detergent as I wash clothes

FEEL
- optimistic as I finish a sculpture that was once nothing more than a daydream
- very domestic as I clean the house

today's activities included...

- eating the best chicken ever
- hanging clothes up to dry because the dryer is broken AGAIN
- reading about Nina Simone - updating my website
- emailing a new friend back and forth
- watching Big Brother
- drinking decaf coffee because the past two days I have had too much caffeine
- hearing helicopters flying above the neighborhood because of yesterday's accident (a big water pipe broke a few blocks away flooding the neighboring streets and causing a big sinkhole)
- trying out a new way of setting my hair (I'll find out tomorrow if it worked)
- working on a new sculpture
- using my very last spool of wire